Optifast Education Series — Body Image

I am starting a new series here on my blog that is based on my musings of the Optifast Literature that they give you during your fast and maintenance.  From time to time, I will “discuss” these materials when I find something interesting that I would like to share.

Body Image — You can’t avoid the pressure from society about your body image.  Many of us hide from society completely (No way I am putting on a bathing suit and going to that party!). Others try to not be seen (Don’t sit in that chair!). My favorite is: I don’t care what people think! — (Well, you should, you really should!).

So let’s see what Opti has for us…

Tools for Success: Recognize signs, Understanding factors that influence your image, Understand the hidden benefits of obesity, & recognize feelings that signal weight gain.

Yikes.  So much to discuss… So little time… There is much more to this little lesson but I think we have enough here to discuss.

Recognize Signs – It goes without saying that overweight people know they are overweight. Optifast talks about how their research shows that obese people try to hide the signs or signals in their day-to-day life. The example they give is mirrors.  Overweight people tend to have less mirrors in their houses and around them.  Full Length mirrors are virtually non-existent if you are obese.  I must say that I never cared about mirrors and I did not have many of them around.  We once purchased a house and the first thing we did is remove the full length mirror on the back of the bedroom door.  At the time, we did this because it was a cheap mirror that we just did not need, but in retrospect maybe there is something to the Optifast thought here.  We certainly did not run right out and get a new and nicer one to replace it. Optifast discusses how there are plenty of face and hair size mirrors but in obese households you will not find any that show your overall appearance. Photos play into this as well.  I know I avoided all photos including those “family” photos.  Movement.  Overweight people tend to stay home and exercise less.  Many of the reasons for this are pain (my knees, my ankles and my back used to hurt when I exercised) and going out in public (Isn’t it fun to walk pass all those stores in the Mall and know there is nothing in there that you can fit into?). Finally — touch. Overweight people avoid touching at all costs.  I had to laugh at this, but when you dig into it — it makes sense.  One of the people I know mentioned that they shy away from letting people touch them.  By this she explained that if someone put their arms around her and tried to give her a hug that it reminded her of how fat she was.

Hidden Benefits of Obesity – OK this is a stretch.  Here are the optifast examples:

1. Not having to meet goals.  You don’t have to work hard because management would never give that marketing or sales position to a fat person.  Why bother working hard?
2. Power.  Big Guys have lots of power in our society.  Sounds like intimidation to me… What was that?  Were you talking to me? Yeah, I did not think so!
3. Credibility.  If you are overweight it signals that you work hard and don’t care about your personal life or family.  You will work weekends and nights and long hours because your body looks like you are willing to sacrifice for your career. So let me get this — you have credibility and then you have cover for not meeting your goals… What is not to like?  Pass the gravy please…
4. Decreased Threat to your friends and peers.  People mistrust someone who is too attractive. Being overweight is just like saying — “Hey, I am just like you. I am no threat.”  So if you are thin, good-looking and nicely dressed — you might as well move on from this blog.  We have our eye on you…!
5. Test of your Mate’s Commitment.  I must say that my wife loved me when I was 450 lbs.  and she loves me now.  When my feet hurt so bad I could not get out of the livingroom chair she never said a word.  I give Optifast this one.  She is a great woman and I love her for sticking with me!
6. Reduced  Risk of Infidelity — A little hidden benefit to being fat?  A good anti-depressant can do the same thing.  I don’t buy it.
7. Staying Below the Radar. Others expect less from the obese. You become invisible.  I must have I have seen many overweight people do this.  We do try to go about our lives trying not to stand out or be seen.
8. Protection.  If you are 6′-5″ and 450 lbs. you really don’t have many people argue with you or start something. No one messed with my family.  Being a semi-pro football offensive lineman helps as well!

Recognizing Signals for a Weight Gain — Optifast discusses signs that could cause you to start regaining your weight. Resentment and Anger towards people who notice your weight loss or even notice you for the first time.  That anger is actually a way to allow you to regain your weight.  “I am the same person I was before.  Why do they talk to me now?”  All of this means, if I gain my weight back will they ignore me again? — It is an excuse. Anxiety about your new image.  If you have anxiety about putting yourself out there for the first time you need to recognize and examine this feeling. Ignoring it may be a way to go back to your old eating habits so that you do not have to be so out there. Pressure to meet expectations.  People sometimes feel great pressure to perform better at work and in their personal life.  Going back to the old you should be no choice. Here is the one that I have — right here in the Optifast Literature — “Inability to see you’ve lost weight”. Oh my Gosh!  How many times have I posted that??? It is a signal that you are at risk for a weight gain! So as you can see, I have some work to do on this image thing.  No way I want to go back there again!

I would add one other thing here — I am big on Diet Diaries — I think it is the single most important thing you can do to keep the weight off.  If you are keeping track of your diet, mood and exercise — you can look back and see what a successful week looks like and what a weight gain week looks like.  Your mood goes right to your self-image. If you keep track of how your feel day-to-day, you will see that a successful week is a week in which the balance between food, exercise and your mood has been achieved.  When any of the three get out of whack, I can guarantee you will see a weight gain.  I plan on using my Diet Diary to help with my self-image and get me to recognize my lost weight.  That and a full length mirror!

 

Thanksgiving Turkey Trot

A year ago I stood in thr rain and waited for my daughter to come back from her first 5k run. This time I was determined to get the moment back. — to re-write history. It was very sunny and not as cold as before.

We started out with a light jog. We went faster and the slower and then real fast and then real slow. It seemed like three miles was a whole lot longer than I remember. What a blast though! Really a rush to tell you the truth. The smile on her face was worth it all.

We ran past the Capitol. We ended a block from the White House on Pennsylvania Avenue. I finished and thought I could run it again. To talk to Sara and run with her past all those famous places. The brisk air and the beautiful morning.

I sat down for about a half hour and when I got up my legs and my knee!!! I was fine but suddenly to run it again like I thought before — not so much!

I got it back. History re-written. What a great day!

Turkey Chump…

Well Shonnie kicked our male butts… But this is no surprise really.  Any woman who can hang upside down while her trainer punches her in the stomach and calls her names can surely take me in a challenge.  I may still play semi-pro football, but it is nothing compared to crawling under barbed wire at 6am and having people make sounds like grenades going off from the sidelines.  We had no chance really did we Grumpy?

I pushed again this week for anyone counting. I am taking a few weeks off from weighing-in.  I will post some other crazy stuff.  I am headed to Washington, D.C. I am going to run my first 5k with my daughter.  Last year I stood in the rain at the side of the road and cheered her on.  It was an incredibly sad moment in my life.  I worked hard this year to get that moment back and to change it.

So I will be posting some food for thought, some exercise in our Nation’s Capitol, and some family musings. Hope everyone has a great holiday and check back from time to time and drop a comment about what you did on your holiday.

When I get back — the Christmas Challenge begins… And to ensure our victory grumpy — I think we should take a drive and maybe pay a visit to Shonnie’s trainer!

Hot Mess Cupcakes?

If you are hungry or if you are fasting you may just want to close this post and move on….

My signature dish — Hot Mess Cupcakes….

Regular yellow cupcakes… then butter — lots of it — then Hershey’s Chocolate bars — melt it together — then add Heath Bar Pieces (a whole big bag!) and stir quickly in the hot chocolate butter mixture…

Now take off the stove and pour it on the cupcakes… Let the chocolate mixture spill over the sides… It will harden and you have to break them off of the pan.  Now put on a plate and serve…

My daughter begged me for her friends… I did it… And I did not even taste it…

I did go to my room after and laid down put a cold wet cloth on my head….

Carowinds Food

Oh the humanity! I stayed a mile away.

I have never tried this from my iPhone.

A different kind of Father’s Day!

When I was young people use to tell me that I was so good with kids that I was going to make a great father.  Well, boy were they wrong.  I love my children almost more than I can speak, but it is not easy being a father.  Good or Bad — I try my hardest, but most of the time I feel like I am not doing enough, or I am not setting the right example, or I wish I could handle food being spilled and wiped and spit on me better.

One of the things about being as Obese (Gosh I have to write a blog soon on that word!) is the toll it takes on your kids.  I stopped going to lunch at school with my kids because the other kids told my children that they did not want to sit near us — because of their dad’s size.  I volunteered to help in the Garden but stopped because I heard a kid say — “Here comes Edan’s fat dad!” Now I know, from my own youth of being fat, that kids can be mean, but I have two healthy normal sized kids who really don’t need to be teased about their fat father.  I hate the fact that in this world of “tolerance” and “acceptance” of our differences that “fat people” or “obese people” are still fair game to take shots at.  But I am not going to take up the mantle and slay the dragons of hatred at my kids expense — I am just going to disappear so that they don’t have to deal with it.

Part of the reason I went on Optifast was to lose weight and be able to be a more “active” participant in my kids’ lives.  This means going to school and sitting with them and eating celery if I have to — but be there and not have them picked on.  This goes with my often mentioned goal of going to Disney with my kids and being able to ride the rides with them — right now, I would have to stand at the bottom of the ride and cheer them on.

So with all of this in mind, I entered the 2011 Father’s Day Season with every intention of maintaining my Optifast diet.  The first thing was a call from my father-in-law — He wanted to know what time we are all leaving for Golden Corral.  My wife mentioned that I was not eating, which he knew, but he was determined (as always) to have the best Father’s Day possible which included some of the worst binging on food you could ever imagine.  So there went my family off to eat at the Golden Corral.  I stayed home.  There just is no point in going there even to just have coffee! So empty house and all, I sat and read my paper and drank my coffee with dog and cat at my feet.

At this moment, I decided this was going to be a new kind of Father’s Day — maybe a new lasting tradition — maybe not.  But this was not going to be hijacked by the Golden Corral — even if those sausage and gravy biscuits were calling my name.  I got up and put on my new pedometer (I highly recommend the Fitbit Pedometer — Http://www.fitbit.com/ ) and went for a long walk.  I walked 4 miles and it took me an hour or so.  I enjoyed the sounds of the Sunday morning in the piedmont of North Carolina.  I walked down The Plaza passed the stately old mansions, I crossed over Central Avenue with John’s Breakfast Place — line out the door — past the Nova Bakery (Coffee and Danish anyone?) and headed into the Grocery Store.  I bought a bottle of water and sat for a few minutes watching the folks moving in and out of the commerce on Central.  Then I got up and walked up Club Street to Country Club which has the Triple “C” Ranch (Charlotte Country Club) where I was almost hit by a tinted windowed Mercedes that flew past the Guard Shack.  I continued on home — Mecklenburg Avenue.  Nice long walk.  A new tradition for Father’s Day.

My family came back from Golden Corral. They looked like they were about to burst and if they did I am sure the cheapest syrup you have ever seen would have oozed out.  They announced that Grandfather was coming over to swim in our pool (not an invitation — he just says he is coming over) and then he wants to make steaks on my grill. At this point, I am thinking that he wants me to buy the steaks and the beer for what is quickly becoming a “Father’s Day Festival”.  I explained to my family that it was my day as well.  Even if I was not the best father in the world, my family and their grandfather would have to understand my need not to “grill” at my house this year.  It was a new Father’s Day Tradition — which threw out the stodgy old tired “Father’s Day Festival” — the world had changed and everyone had to come along with me on this brand new day!

Well after the crying and yelling and throwing of things stopped — everyone agreed that Grandpa could come over, but there would be no steaks on the grill this year.  My kids asked me what I wanted to do on Father’s Day and I told them that I would show them but they had to get into the car and come with me — no questions.  So everyone loaded up and I drove them over to the local middle school.  We drove around back and I parked by the athletic field.  I got out — and for a minute everyone sat inside and looked back and forth at each other — then they got out.  I announced that we were going to jog at least 2 times around the track (1/2 mile) and then walk 2 times around the track for a total of one mile.  There was silence.  I told them this is what I really wanted to do on Father’s Day.  They could sit in the stands and cheer me on or join me.  So there I was on the track starting to jog — by myself — then suddenly my kids started running after me.  We all jogged around the track twice and then walked around.  As we walked around we all talked and discussed my weight and my diet.  Honestly, my first thought was please God, don’t let me die in front of them all, but then I relaxed and walked.  It was a great family moment.

We got back home and Grandpa and Grandma were already in the pool — they said they let themselves in — really?  I kinda got that one.  We swam for a few hours and played with the kids and then at dinner time (looking kind of sad) they went out to dinner (I think it might have been the Golden Corral again!) . The kids and my wife had a quick dinner and I sat and sucked down a lovely chocolate optifast shake… YUM! NOT!

We all settled in for an evening of screens — me on my trading system (Japan opens at 9pm EDT), the kids on the Disney Channel, and my wife on her laptop — Facebook is my guess.  Then off to bed.  My son said to me as I put him into bed, “I hope you had a great Father’s Day, Dad.”  I said, “I did.  It was a different kind of Father’s Day than in the past. But I liked it very much.”  I think we have a new tradition.  One that does not require food.  One that has exercise and diet sprinkled throughout.  It was a different kind of Father’s Day — but it was a very nice one indeed!

 

Optifast Questions… Answered.

I get questions via email each week from people all over the world asking me about Optifast. Some of them very nice and some of them very bad.  I once got a very long post which I did not approve here on the blog from a gentleman that was a “dietary specialist blogger”.  Come to find out he had a nice title but he was just like you and me and was posting comments that seemed to me to be looking for business.  One other guy “yelled” at me and railed on about how unsafe a low-calorie fast was and how he was “very very concerned” for my health.  I tried to explain that I have a primary doctor and a Optifast doctor, three nurses (one who says she is good at drawing blood but I have yet to witness that), and a “doctor” of nutrition that I see on a weekly basis and are all looking after me.  That did not seem to help much.

Anyways, I thought that I might answer here some of the questions that I have been asked.  I also encourage you to email me or post to me or whatever you wish if you have questions about Optifast. If I don’t know, I will go find out for you….  Here we go…

1. Are you hungry on Optifast?    Heck yes! I must say that I never was a person that was very hungry to begin with, but I am not going to kid anyone. When you are on an 800 calorie liquid diet, you are going to be hungry.  What you know is that the shakes have enough protein and vitamins and minerals to give you what you need to survive.  As with any diet it is a simple math — it takes 3500 calories to lose 1 pound of weight. That means you have to be in calorie deficit of 3500 kcal to lose 1 pound of weight. 800 calories will put you in a deficit because you burn more than that a day.
2. When should you take a Optifast?  Optifast recommends 5 shakes a day at 3 hour intervals. Some people can do this easily. Some people do not like to eat every 3 hours and some have schedules that do not permit it (like an O/R nurse in our group). So you can “double up” on them, but you should get them all in one day.  You should not do 3 shakes one day and 7 shakes the next.
3. I gained weight on Optifast, how is that possible?  I have heard of this before.  For some women there are times when they lose more weight than other times due to natural cycles.  There are some men that I have seen that sit all day at the office and never get up and lose next to nothing some weeks.  If you read Angry Woman’s Blog (see on the favorites list), she exercises very hard every week and some weeks she may be building muscle while still losing fat.  I have seen elderly people not lose weight because there metabolism does not seem to be burning off enough calories. There is a balance to the whole thing and I cannot tell you how you can go a whole week without losing weight or even gaining weight, but I have seen it.  I would sit with my Optifast doctor and my Optifast Nutritionist and try to figure it out.  You may want to do a diet diary for a week to bring to them which shows when you take your shakes, how often, and any exercise you do in a day.
4. Prepared Optifast Drink or Powered Optifast Drink?  I hate it all. Take it like medicine. Think of Optifast like a food holiday and study and learn good nutrition while you take a break from food.  I can tolerate the Prepared Optifast easier than  the Powdered Optifast, but honestly just drink it and get it over with.
5. How many Optifast Drinks a day?  You get 5 Optifast for most diets.  If you are not on full fast then it may be less. This is up to the doctor. They do have Soup now, but they say no more than two soups a day.  I found the soup higher in Sodium and it slowed my weight loss. So I only do the shakes.  They also have the bars. Optifast recommends only one bar a day.  People love them. If you ate other bars like Cliff’s or Powerbars, you might like them, but I don’t. To me they might be good with a big giant glass of whole milk, but alas that is not on the Optifast diet.
6. Can you have other drinks?  Like what? Beer.  Hardly.  There is a limit to caffeine and diet sodas — see below — but mostly you have to stick to water.
7. How can I lose weight and not inches?  Inches for most people come last. I did meet a woman on Optifast who loses very little weight and she claims she loses inches every week.  I have not witnessed that.  I have basically lost 100 lbs. and I have 100 lbs. to go — so do the math — I am 50% of the way there.  I have lost 4 inches off my waist and I have lost 100 lbs.  I really think I should have lost many more inches but I have not.  I have lost pounds and I see it on the scale, but the inches are slow going.  If you take my weight loss and divide it by the inches you get 1 inch for every 25 lbs.  I hope to lose more than 4 more inches off my waist by the time I lose the next 100 lbs. but so far I am staying with 1 inch for every 25 lbs. lost.
8. Can you mix Carbonated Water with Optifast Shakes?   Knock yourself out.  People have done all kinds of things: ice, extracts, diet soda, essences, splenda and even fresh mint from the garden.  I have heard it all.  To me, mixing anything (ANYTHING) with Optifast only make more Optifast.  If you can find next to zero or no calories in something and you think it will make the shake better than go ahead.  For me? Glub Glub — Move on.
9. How much water am I allowed to drink?  As much as you can tolerate.  I have never heard anyone mention a maximum water intake.  The desired amount that Optifast would like you to drink is what I call 64 oz. of Optifast Water (See my post from a few weeks back). Some love it, some hate it.  I keep a 24 oz. cup next to me at my desk and drink all day long.  I am close to a full gallon on most days.
10. Coffee? Caffeine? Diet Soda?  Yes, please.  Optifast recommends no more that two cups of coffee a day and no more than two cans of diet soda.  Mostly this is done for the sodium intake.  Most people on Optifast are Obese and they already have blood pressure issues to begin with.  Almost everyone at our group meeting is on high blood pressure medication.  Sodium intake is important and the Optifast drink itself has enough sodium for an entire day.  Caffeine can be dehydrating and we all know that leads to dizziness and on an 800 calorie diet who needs to be more dizzy?  Not me.
11. Where can I find Optifast in the Middle East?  Really?  Serious?  I have no idea… I loved this question and I searched to find an answer. Optifast does exist in the Middle East, but it depends on what country you are in.  I love these questions…
12. Can I take Crestor while on Optifast?  Yes. I do.  And I will tell you that after 100 lbs. of weight loss, I am no longer on high blood pressure medication, I no longer take Nexium, and my sleep apnea (funny term for snoring… ha ha) is gone.  I am having a meeting with my doctor next week and I think he may take me off of Crestor.  Officially Optifast would like you to discuss the diet and your medication with both the Optifast doctor and your primary care physician.  You will likely be told to continue all medications at the beginning and then they will slowly start to take them away.

Keep the questions coming… I love to answer them!

Pretzels and Yogurt and Steak — Oh, my!

If  Dorothy had moved to North Carolina and gave up the Kansas flat lands, she would have never uttered those famous words about Lions and Tigers and Bears. If she had been in my kitchen today when my wife returned from Trader Joe’s, she would have said, “Pretzels and Yogurt and Steak — Oh, my!”

There I was face to face with all the things I love.  Those were amazing steaks that I swear you can only get at Costco.  Trader Joe’s Pretzels —  the ones with the Peanut Butter inside.  I guess if you think about it, what is better than a Pretzel??? You guessed it, a Pretzel with Peanut Butter stuffed inside of it!  Serving Size :1 oz. Calories: 142. FAT: 7.5 grams but hey 4.7 grams of Protein.  I dare you to just eat one ounce.

Greek Yogurt. I love it. I looked at it. There was fruit inside… But wait — there is no fruit.  There is Fruit Juice and Citric Acid and something to make it like a jelly.  Yuck! (Secretly I would have eaten 3 of them.  I mean she had 3 different flavors.)

Grocery day used to be so much fun. I would help take the things out of the bag and open half the stuff and eat it before it got put away. Now my head is swimming and I feel sick.  My body is trying to tell me after 8 weeks that I need some of this stuff…. I deserve some of this… I have been so good. I have lost 80 lbs.  Come on….

I think of all the women all over this country that grocery shop for their families (and men too… After all I am a stay at home dad. I used to shop too.) — Then I think of all the women on Optifast and the shopping they have to do.  They have to prepare meals for families. They have to touch food, smell food, present food.  I have no idea how they can stay on the fast. Maybe that is why Shonnie is an Angry Fat Woman.  I completely understand… Looking at those steaks — I am getting pissed off right now!

Food is everywhere and I guess we all have to deal with it. — Optifast or not.  I felt so ill that I took a Optifast Shake right away and went to lay down.  I had to be forgiven, I just cannot put those groceries away.  Maybe later, Maybe in 6 months — who knows — but not today.

Dorothy, we’re not in Kansas anymore!

64 oz. of Optifast Water…

Ahhhhhhhh Gulp.

I have finished my 64 oz. of Optifast Water.  This is the amount that Optifast says you should drink a day.  There are also those who say you need the water to flush the fat.  I have no idea if this is true or not. I know that with my size and my stomach that 64 oz. of Optifast Water is just fine. I have never had a problem with it.  In fact, before Optifast I drank about 128 oz. of daily water. 

I cannot tell you how many hours of discussion in Optifast Group Therapy you hear talk about water. Many people just cannot seem to get to the 64 oz. number. Several people whom I have spoken with say that 64 oz. actually hurts their stomach.

For those of you who have conversion issues, 128 oz. of water is 1 gallon. So it then is easy to add up — 64 oz. of Optifast Water is 1/2 a gallon of water. And 1/2 of that is 32 oz. which is a quart.  So 64 oz. of Optifast Water is just two quarts of water.

I have an old decorative souvenir cup from McDonald’s. It was a large soda that is a plastic mega cup.  It is 32 oz. in size.  One thing I will mention here is that a Large McDonald’s Soda is now 28 oz. They shrunk it when we were not looking.  Same price but 4 oz. less of soda.  Anyways, I fill the large cup I have from McDonald’s up with water in the morning.  I drink it with breakfast (which right now is a lovely Optifast Chocolate Shake — Yes, I wake up every morning to Chocolate!) and I usually have it consumed by 10am.  I refill it and set it at my desk and try to finish this new one by 12 noon. So by noon I have finished my daily Optifast Water.  Then I drink another between noon and 230pm.  Finally, I finish the last one between 230pm and 5pm.  By the end of the work day — which many of you know I really don’t work for a living — but by the end of the work day I have completed 4 McDonald’s 32 oz. cups of water or 1 full gallon of water.  I often drink additional water at dinner time and in the evening.  I try to stop all drinking except for lovely Optifast Shakes by 7pm.

So there you have it, an easy way to get over a gallon of water in a day.  If you simply want to stick to the Optifast numbers, you can be finished with your water consumption by 12pm each and every day. By the way, I will add here that if you hate plain water, there is always Seltzer (Northern Term) or Club Soda (Southern Term). Almost all carbonated water is made without sodium or any sugar.  I love to put a lemon or a lime wedge in my Club Soda and on Optifast that is allowed.  So basically you can drink 5 cans of club soda a day and get all of your Optifast Water in.

My issue is the limits of caffeine.  On Optifast you are limited to two cups of coffee and that ain’t the Starbucks Venti version either.  You are limited to two diet sodas as well.  This is an issue of sodium.  Sodium intake on Optifast will deter your weight loss.  It is not just about retaining water. It is rather about trying to keep you at healthy sodium levels going forward.  The USDA and the American Heart Association both limit sodium for a “healthy young adult male” to approximately 2300 mg.  For a “healthy middle-age adult male” the total daily sodium intake drops to 1500 mg.  It is hard for me at 47 to admit that I fall into the back side of that middle-age category but as my friend Don says — “I am middle-aged. How long do you expect me to live?” — So I must face the reality.

For a cup of Starbucks or McDonald’s coffee they list the sodium content to be 20 mg. Now that may not seem a whole lot to most people but for most people that is about 2% of their daily intake.  Remember this is a cup or 8 oz. of coffee.  Most people drink a large coffee and that can approach 5% of your daily intake of sodium for one big cup of Joe. Forget Espresso — 8 mg. of sodium per 2 oz. of Espresso.  Oh and those two Diet Cokes each day? 35 mg. of soda per 8 oz. of soda. The exact same for Diet Pepsi, so please don’t get me into the cola wars.  One more thing, I love this, many Coke distributors use the Coke concentrate from headquarters to flush and clean the engines on those big delivery trucks…. Yikes.

I get the sodium connection with retaining water and diets, but sodium also increases blood pressure and can lead to heart attacks.  So speaking of middle age males, this Irish heart has issues already genetically, and for that I am on the way to a healthy lifestyle with Optifast, but part of that has to be limiting my sodium intake and that means coffee and diet soda.

So as I said, I have no idea if water helps “flush the fat” out of you or not.  All I know is that part of this journey for me is to become healthy and happy and 64 oz. of Optifast Water is one big step on the way to a new me!

Have a great weekend — the weather is finally starting to turn…

I had a dream…

Is this a Steak which I see before me,

T-bone toward my hand? Come, let me eat thee.

I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.

Art thou not, fatal steak, sensible

To feeling as to sight?

Macbeth, Act II, Scene 1.

I had a dream that I awoke suddenly and decided I had enough. I wanted to eat. But it was not just anything that I wanted to eat. I wanted Steak! I went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. There was nothing in it but the nicest steak you have ever seen. I got it out and put the oven on broil. I heard a voice and it said that this steak was special and needed to be on the grill.

The next thing I was sitting in Ruth’s Chris steak house. They brought me a potato and sat it in the middle of the table. It was raw and had dirt on it. I made a comment to the people I was with that I thought they showed you the food they were going to prepare but I did not know they gave it to you raw.

The very high classed waiter came to my table with one of those crazy silver platters with a big cover on it just like you would see in the movies. He sat it down in front of me and pulled off the cover and said, “Tada!”

I heard a woman gasp and I heard someone say, “I know he ordered rare but this is crazy…” I looked down to see the reddest steak I have ever seen. I picked up what surely was the biggest and scariest knife and fork in the history of the world and prepared for my delicious first bite.

Suddenly the steak stood up. It had legs and arms and the cutest face you have ever seen. The eyes looked at me in fear and the little steak turned and ran. It hopped off the table and ran out the door. I got up and ran after it.

I was running and running and the steak was pulling away from me. I was suddenly in shorts and a tank top and I had this number tagged to my shirt. I looked at it and it said New York Marathon. I stopped and turned and looked at my reflection in the shop window that I happened to be running past. Wow! I was thin… I was handsome. Boy those are great arms! The legs aren’t bad either. It was a new me. The me after Optifast. I was so impressed. My gray hair was gone and no more salt and pepper. Just thick curly brown hair. Oh, and my eyebrows. They were not mixed with this wiry stuff that seems to be taking over my real eyebrows. Man — I am really… — Hey, that steak is getting away.

I ran and ran and, you guessed it, ran — but the steak got away. It was not meant to be. Besides those eyes and the mouth. I am not sure I could have really taken a bite. I sat down tired and dejected. Boy, I really would like a steak. I was so tired I thought I would just lay down and rest. I closed my eyes, but within seconds I felt a finger on my shoulder. It was poking me. “Leave me!”, I thought. Then I thought, “Hey maybe it was the steak.” I realized that something really was poking me. My arm was telling me — someone is poking you — Wake up!

I sat up with a start. I saw something in the room in the dark. Something in front of me. I screamed…. Ahhhhhhhhhh. The little figure in front of me screamed…. Ahhhhhhhhhh. We both screamed…. Ahhhhhhh. My wife woke up and yelled, “What is it?”

I heard this little voice coming out of the dark, “Daddy, you told me to wake you up if I was scared.” I thought for a second, “Is this a trick by the steak?” Then I noticed my scared little girl looking at me with the widest eyes I have ever seen. My wife said, “Jesus Ed. What the heck?”

“Ah, poor girl, I am so sorry. For a minute there I thought you were a steak.” I grabbed her and twirled her into the bed with my wife and I. “Daddy”, she said, “This diet is making you crazy…”

“I know,” I said, “I know I am a little crazy these days, but hey, it is working. I am losing weight.”

We all drifted back to sleep.